"There's a huge amount of scientific research that shows that people who have an increased sense of control are happier, have more money, better relationships and improved mental and physical health." Dr Rangan Chatterjee one of the most influential doctors in the UK and author of Make Change That Lasts

What do you want your health to allow you to do in 10, 20 or even 30 years' time?

Perhaps you want to keep travelling. Walk for miles on holiday. Continue working because you enjoy it. Play with your grandchildren. Look after your garden. Pursue interests you've not even discovered yet.

Or perhaps it's simply being able to get out of a chair easily, carry your own shopping, remember what you walked into a room for and continue living independently on your own terms.

When we're in our 50s and 60s, it's easy to focus on individual health concerns: our weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, aching joints, poor sleep, declining energy or those frustrating moments when a familiar name disappears from our memory.

But I think there's a bigger question worth asking:

What do I actually want my health to enable me to do?

Because that's when looking after our health stops being simply about avoiding disease or adding years to our lives.

It becomes about protecting our ability to live those years fully.

And that's something I'm passionate about.

We have more influence than we sometimes realise

None of us can control everything that happens to our health.

Our genes matter. Our circumstances matter. Illness, injury and sheer bad luck can affect any of us.

But that doesn't mean our future health is entirely out of our hands.

There are many things we can influence, from how much we move and the food we eat to our sleep, stress, social connections and whether we continue challenging our brains.

For example, physical activity isn't simply about staying slim. Evidence links regular activity with benefits for cardiovascular health, type 2 diabetes risk, sleep, mental health and cognitive health. As we get older, strength and balance also become increasingly important for maintaining physical function and reducing falls.

That gives us an opportunity. We can become active participants in our own health rather than simply waiting to see what ageing brings.

But there's an obvious problem. Most of us already know quite a lot about what we should be doing. Eat well. Move more. Sleep properly. Manage stress. Don't sit for hours. Keep our brains active.

Yet if knowing what to do were enough, we'd all be doing it.

So why can we genuinely want to change, know that the change would be good for us, and still find ourselves repeating the same habits?

I believe there are three important pieces to lasting change.

Pillar 1: Get laser focused

The first part of laser focus is getting specific on what you want.

Instead of starting with everything you think you should change, try starting with the life you want to be living.

Ask yourself:

If my health improved significantly over the next year, what would I be able to do, enjoy or experience that I can't do as easily now?

Perhaps you'd wake with enough energy to enjoy the day instead of dragging yourself through it.

Maybe you'd like to walk five miles comfortably, get down on the floor and back up again easily, concentrate throughout your working day or feel confident booking the adventurous holiday you've been putting off.

Whatever it is, make it yours.

For example: “I want to improve my strength and stamina so that I can still go on walking holidays with my partner in my 70s.”

Or:

“I want to get my blood sugar back into a healthier range because I want to reduce my risk of future health problems and remain independent as I get older.”

Then find the reason underneath it

Knowing what you want is important but knowing why it matters to you can be even more powerful.

Research into Self-Determination Theory has found that health behaviour change is associated with autonomous motivation—when our reasons for changing feel personally meaningful and self-directed—rather than simply being something we feel pressured to do. Reviews of interventions based on this approach have found positive, although generally modest, effects on health behaviours.

That's an important distinction.

“My doctor says I ought to exercise” is a reason.

“I want to have the stamina to explore new places when I retire” is your reason.

So keep asking yourself:

Why does this matter to me?

And then perhaps ask it again.

Your first answer may not be the real reason.

“I want to lose a stone.”

Why?

“Because I want my clothes to fit better.”

Why does that matter?

“Because I want to feel comfortable in my body again.”

And why does that matter?

“Because I've started turning down things I'd really like to do, and I don't want the next decade of my life to get smaller.”

Now you've found something worth working towards.

Pillar 2: Use personalised strategies

Once we know where we want to go, we need a way of getting there—and this is where we face a very modern problem.

We have almost unlimited access to information. Search online for the best diet, exercise programme, supplement, sleep routine or way to improve your memory and you'll find thousands of answers.

The problem is no longer simply “Where can I find information?”

It's: Which information can I trust—and which parts are relevant to me?

One week we're told to eat one way. The following week somebody confidently tells us the opposite.

It's very easy to spend months researching our health while changing very little.

My advice? Learn from what works.

Rather than constantly reinventing the wheel, there is value in using strategies that have evidence and experience behind them.

That might mean following established health guidance, using practical behaviour-change tools, working with a qualified professional or learning from someone who has successfully navigated the challenge you're facing.

But there's an important qualification. A proven strategy isn't necessarily a rigid formula.

Take exercise. Public-health guidance gives us useful evidence-based targets, but it also recognises that people should start from their own level and build gradually. Any activity is better than none.

One person might love going to a gym. Another would rather walk outdoors, cycle, swim, garden or exercise at home.

The physiological principles may be similar, but the way we put them into practice can look very different.

The same applies to changing how we eat, improving our sleep or managing stress.

The best strategy is one you can make work in your life. This is where good coaching or mentoring can be particularly valuable. It's not about somebody else telling you exactly how they did it and expecting you to copy them. It's about benefiting from their knowledge and experience while asking:

• How can we make this work for you?

• What fits your personality?

• Your commitments?

• Your health?

• Your preferences?

• Your current level of fitness?

• Your family and working life?

• Your strengths—and the things that repeatedly trip you up?

Someone who has successfully navigated a similar challenge may also be able to see obstacles, shortcuts and possibilities that are difficult to recognise when you're in the middle of it yourself.

The principle might be proven but the application needs to be personal.

Pillar 3: Resolve the inner conflicts

This is perhaps the most overlooked pillar.

You know what you want. You've found a sensible strategy. You've even started. And then...

Somehow you stop.

Again.

Rather than giving up, I think it's worth becoming more curious about what's actually happening.

Because sometimes we're trying to move towards something we consciously want while another belief, fear or assumption is pulling us in the opposite direction.

Perhaps you've told yourself:

• I'm just not an exercise person.

• I've always struggled with my weight.

• I'm too old to start now.

• I'm too busy to look after myself properly.

• I always give up eventually.

• Healthy food is boring.

• I'll start when life calms down...

Or perhaps there's a less obvious conflict.

You want to create more time for your health, but part of you believes that prioritising yourself means letting other people down.

You want to retire, but much of your identity and sense of purpose is connected to your work.

You want to lose weight, but food has become one of your main ways of relaxing at the end of a difficult day.

Simply telling yourself to “try harder” doesn't resolve any of those conflicts.

Become curious about what's underneath the behaviour.

Our beliefs influence the choices we make—sometimes without us being particularly conscious of them. So if there's a healthy change you've repeatedly struggled to sustain, rather than immediately looking for another strategy, stop and ask:

What do I believe about myself, or about this change, that might be making it harder?

Then examine the answer.

Is it actually true?

Is it always true?

Where did that belief come from?

Is it helping you create the future you want?

And what might be a more useful belief?

Instead of:

“I've never been an active person.”

Perhaps:

“I haven't found a way of being active that I've wanted to maintain yet.”

That's a very different starting point.

The goal isn't to pretend obstacles don't exist or to think positively about everything.

It's to stop allowing an old assumption to make today's decisions automatically.

Why you need all three

Imagine these three pillars working together.

Clarity without strategy

“I know exactly what I want—but I don't know how to get there.”

You have motivation but no reliable route forward.

Strategy without clarity

“I'm doing lots of healthy things—but I'm not really sure what I'm trying to achieve.”

You're busy, but there's no clear destination connecting everything you're doing.

Clarity and strategy without inner alignment

“I know what I want. I know what I need to do. But I keep slipping back into the same patterns.”

That's when it may be time to stop looking for yet another plan and investigate what's pulling you in the opposite direction.

Put all three together and something changes:

I know what I want.

I know why it matters.

I have a realistic strategy for moving towards it.

And I'm learning to recognise and resolve what has been holding me back.

That's much more powerful than waiting to feel motivated. It's personal agency.

Taking ownership doesn't mean controlling everything

I think this distinction is incredibly important. Taking ownership of our health doesn't mean believing that if we eat perfectly, exercise regularly and manage our stress, nothing bad will ever happen to us. There are no such guarantees.

Personal agency means recognising and using the influence we do have. It's choosing to go for the walk. Making the appointment we've been putting off. Going to bed rather than watching another episode. Building our strength. Learning something new. Cooking the meal that will nourish us rather than simply grabbing whatever is easiest. Asking for help when we need it. Questioning the story we've been telling ourselves for years.

One decision isn't going to determine how we age. But our repeated choices can influence the direction in which we're travelling.

And in our 50s and 60s, there is still plenty worth influencing.

So, where do you want to go from here?

Perhaps reading this has made you realise that you don't need another list of things you should be doing. Perhaps what you need first is clarity.

A chance to stop and think about where you are now, what you want the years ahead to look like, what might be standing in your way—and what you want to do next.

That's exactly why I created The Midlife Reset Journal.

It will help you:

• Notice what's happening in your life and health right now.

• Imagine what you really want for the years ahead.

• Discover what's been getting in your way.

• Choose a realistic next step you can begin taking.

You don't need to map out the next 20 years today. But you can decide on the direction in which you want to travel, because healthy ageing isn't simply something that happens to us.

While we cannot control everything, we can become increasingly intentional about the things we can influence.

We can get clear about what we want.

We can find strategies that work and adapt them to our own lives.

We can challenge the beliefs and patterns that keep pulling us backwards.

And we can continue making choices that give us a better opportunity to stay active, healthy, mentally sharp and fully engaged with life for as long as possible.

Your future health is worth being intentional about.

What's one choice you could make today that your future self might thank you for?